From 200 to 190….and Pooping with Deer

No, I haven’t gone backwards with my miles.  That’s 200lbs to 190lbs.  I’ve lost 10lbs in three months.   I’m a very simple girl.  If I push the button I need a pellet.  I need some sort of confirmation that all the hard work done over the past three months is actually making a difference.  Push the button, get a pellet; push the button, get a pellet.  I’ve been pushing this damn button for 3 months and my pellet is losing 10lbs!  I’ll take it!

I’m hoping the next pellet comes in the form of the results of my blood workup.  Like I said…simple girl.

Now…on to yesterday’s hike.

I was back at Lake Ray Roberts and hiked the Jordan Park Trail.  That trail starts at Bluestem Grove Camping Area and goes all the way up to FM 1192.  You can then cross the road and head up to the Lantana Lodge and then hike beyond Lantana for another 3.5 mile loop.

Yesterday was a first for me.  I had to poop in the woods.  Now, let me explain.  Years ago when I actually hiked a lot and everywhere, I bought one of those orange plastic trowels and carried it all over the place.  Not once did I ever have to use it. Not. Once.  I still have it somewhere, but as I’ve mentioned, who knows where half of my camping equipment from the 1990s has ended up.

Off to REI I go.  Apparently today’s “trowel” is black, lighter and supposedly more sturdy.  Okay…not sure why sturdy is important…but we’ll soon discover why that’s a useful feature.

I am on my hike yesterday when #2 decides it needs to happen.  As with most folks, I kept thinking I could put off this business until I reached the Lantana Lodge and use a proper bathroom…but my stomach this weekend wasn’t in the best of shape shall we say.  I went as far as I could until I could go no more.

Now it was a case of trying to find the perfect place.

I used to make fun of the cats in my life for digging and digging in their litter box.  They dig in one corner, no…that’s not right…then they turn and dig in another corner….by the time they finally go they’ve dug the Grand Canyon 50 times over!

So it was with me.  I kept checking out this tree and that tree.  I kept trying to triangulate where the tree was in relation to the trail and who could see me or not see me depending on which direction they were coming.  I hadn’t really seen anyone on the trail all day, but wasn’t about to take chances.

I finally found a clump of trees that I could get to that seemed far enough off the trail and hidden relatively from the trail.  Great.

I took off my pack and pulled out my trusty trowel.  This was going to be my first official “cat hole”.  I start digging.  What “they” fail to tell you is that you are going to hit every known root in the woods….all those roots are going to cross at exactly the place your digging!  I now know why a strong trowel is a must….because you spend more time trying to break through the damn roots and get a big enough and deep enough hole!  And of course the whole time your stomach is threatening to unleash what ever hell its been bottling up for the last two miles and reminds you that you better hurry up!

Damn it!

After finally pulling out roots by hand (someone remind me why I have a trowel if I’m going to end up digging the hole by hand), it was time….down go the pants and just as I look up….there they are.  Two deer no more than 40 feet from me who have been watching me this entire time try to dig a hole and squat over it.  They just stood and stared.  In all honesty…if I was them…I probably would have stared too.  Thank god they have not outfitted the deer with iPhones yet…otherwise there would be pictures of my lily white butt posted all over the internet by now.  Eventually they moved off and I was able to finish my business.

So there you go…my afternoon pooping with deer.  Fantastic.

Have you had to poop in the woods?  If so, do you have a story to tell?  I’m all ears!  Don’t let me be alone in this.  I promise not to laugh…too much.

One Comment on “From 200 to 190….and Pooping with Deer

  1. I know…what’s the spider got to do with pooping in the woods? Absolutely nothing. I was lazy yesterday and it’s the only picture I took, so I used it. What were you expecting? A picture of me doing my business? Uh…no!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: