I’d like to turn your attention to a very disagreeable condition called “chafing”. At least that’s what the internet tells me it is. The internet also tells me it’s called “Monkey Butt”. I kid you not. It’s a common problem for hikers, bikers, tri athletes and the like.

What ever it is and what ever it’s called, I don’t like it.

Effectively yesterday while hiking my thighs rubbed together to the point that when I finally got home, I realized that I was walking like I’d just been riding a horse for most of the day. My plans this day entailed me later taking a train up to Denton and walking over the Oak St. Drafthouse and Cocktail Parlor and the thought of walking through Denton like I’d just rode into town did not appeal to me. However, it is Denton, and I suspect no one would notice. But I would notice, I would be in pain!

The common prescription for this said condition called chafing seems to be something called Bodyglide. You can pick it up at any of the typical chain sports stores; however don’t confuse it with Body Glide which is for a completely different use which is WAY beyond the scope of this blog.

Seeing how I’m lazy and didn’t feel like making it over to Academy Sports, I decided to run an experiment. Other solutions include the use of either baby powder or baby oil in the infected regions. I’ve also seen Vaseline, but that’s a little too “goopy” for my tastes.

I did come up with one solution that has pleased me immensely. You know those compression briefs worn by men? Guess what….they are fantastic for chafing! These things are a God send. It keeps my thighs from sticking and I can actually walk like a normal human being.

The only problem I’ve found with the compression briefs: it’s Texas….we’re heading into summer. So, I have on underwear, the compression briefs and shorts. Nothing about this screams “cool as a cucumber” trust me…

I know this is way more information than you ever wanted to know about my chafing situation. But seeing how it’s my duty to share these things, it’s all part of the plan.

Anyway, tomorrow is Monday. My plan is to leave the office at 4p, be on the trail at 4:30p. I’m probably NOT going to try and pound out a 4 mile hike. I’ll leave those for the weekend. For the weekdays, what I like to call “training”, I’ll try and do 2 maybe 2.5 miles a day.

I’ll let you know how the combination of baby oil and compression shorts work. I know you’ll want to know!